Parody on the speech
between Lt Daniel Kaffe and Lt. Col. Nathan Jessup in "A Few Good Men"
Munchkin: Can I be
a 5th generation Tremere anti-tribu infernalist with Thaumaturgy, Dark
Thaumaturgy, and Daimionon?
Storyteller: You
want the answer?
Munchkin: I think
I'm entitled.
Storyteller: YOU
WANT THE ANSWER!?!
Munchkin: I WANT
THE TRUTH!
Storyteller: YOU
CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Son, we play in a
World that has elders, and those elders have to be played by people with
talent. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Munchkin? I have a greater responsibility
than you can possibly fathom. You whine about the plotlines and you curse
the storytellers. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing
what I know: that the elders, while powerful, are very subtle. And my
choices, while unfair and incomprehensible to you, keeps the game balanced.
You don't want the truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about
at game stores, you want me on this bench, you need me on this bench.
We use words like Methuselah, Master Level, Overbid. We use these words
as the backbone of plotline. You use them as a loophole. I have neither
the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a person who
role-plays
with the very House Rules that I provide and then questions the manner
in which I provide them. I would rather you just said "thank you" and
went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a book and start your
own game. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled
to.
Munchkin: Did you
say that I can't I play a Methuselah?
Storyteller: I did
my Job and I'd do it again?
Munchkin: Did you
say that I can't I play a Methuselah?
Storyteller: YOUR
GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID!!
Munchkin: Okay...How
about a 6th Gen Caitiff with Potence, Celerity, and Fortitude.
Storyteller: Pulls
gun and shoots, Whine, Whine...BANG FUCK I'M DEAD!
Path
of the Munchkin
This path is favored
by the power-hungry Tremere, especially those under 15 years of age..
They will start off with this path, despite the fact that Tremere start
with the Path of Blood . . .
Basic Excuse
The character can manage to get away with anything. You can always think
of some excuse that the Storyteller accepts. You can thus, start off with
the secret resting place of the 13 Antediluvians and many
other fun
things. Your imagination is the limit.
Basic Blood Experience
The Tremere can spend a blood point to gain 1xp. This power can be used
as many times as the Tremere desires, and only requires a blood point.
The character can use the first level of the PotM to have a full blood
pool.
Intermediate Hehehe! He's Dead!!
You spend a willpower point, and the target becomes dead. There are no
resistance rolls or soak rolls involved. Even if the character is immortal,
he will be dead. This is not considered a violation of the seventh tradition.
Intermediate One with Cain!
You can spend 'current level x1' to raise your Generation Background.
If you do not have this background, you can buy it for 2xp. You can use
xps gained by Blood Experience for this purpose.
Advanced Height
Your character is instantly transformed into a Garou/Mage/Cain/Faerie
who can enter the shadow lands at will and is immune to death.
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